I like to end the year listing 10 things that I am grateful for and then set out some goals that I want to achieve in the coming twelve months. I also usually pick a word to accompany the year – to set a theme if you will. 2017’s word was Brave, 2016’s was Committed.
I made time to sit and appreciate the year and to be thankful for it. It was an amazing year. It was the year that I quit my job and didn’t look back, I started the process to become a qualified therapist, I got a new job, I had my hen weekend, I went to Italy (as per) and of course it was the year that we got married (!!) and had an amazing mini moon. I am and always will be so grateful for the opportunities, change and growth that 2017 brought about, not least, starting my own therapy which has been a game changer for me.
Therapy has made me less anxious, less tightly wound, more self-aware and more able to deal with relationships and situations that I find challenging. It has also enabled me to own my anger and to reclaim part of myself. I can’t recommend it enough.
Despite all the many wonderful things about my 2017there were f course some not so great parts and the end of this year seemed to sneak up on me in a fog of pain, antibiotics, chocolate and chaos. By the end of December I just felt like a big yucky mess physically. I had had an operation on my foot which was more invasive and painful than imagined and put me out of action for longer than I thought as I got two painful infections and had to have two courses of antibiotics. I couldn’t walk very much for ages, let alone run or do my yoga and BBG workouts and I know that movement is massively important to my emotional wellbeing – I tend to live in my “mind” and struggle to connect with my body as much and yoga has been a huge help in re-connecting me.
I put on 7lbs in the month of December alone. That’s a lot to put on in a short space of time. My gut was funny and I kept getting searing pain after some meals. My psoriasis was the worst it has been for a while, no doubt exacerbated by a combination of my consumption of chocolate coins, antibiotics x 2 and emotional stress from the year. A very small voice was telling me that I was probably dairy intolerant and should probably lay off the sugar and gluten for a bit but chocolate is life. I also love dairy – my favourite breakfasts on the Louise Parker Methodare the smoothies and birchers made with greek yoghurt.
By the way, I still love the LP Method but I just knew I needed to try cutting out everything and re-introducing it to find out my allergies/intolerances for a while. I love that a lot of the LP recipes are easily adaptable to Whole30 which has made it a lot easier.
So, I decided on my first goal for the year – complete a Whoe30. I ordered the “Whole30 Day by Day” which tells you how you’re probably feeling on each day and gives you hints and tips. It is scarily accurate. This past weekend for example Friday – Sunday was Day 9, 10 and 11.
Day 9 “The Food Day”
“At this point in your Whole30 journey, it seems like all you’re doing is thinking about food. Planning food. Chopping food. Cleaning up after food. Looking at other people’s food. Talking about your food. Maybe even dreaming about food. You may be tired of what you’ve been eating (eggs on eggs on eggs).”
Check to all of those for me.
So here’s why I’m doing it, it’s quite simple: I wanted to feel better. I wanted to stop waking up in the night from scratching my skin raw. I wanted the dodgy tummy and the pain and the bloating and the gas to go. I wanted to feed myself proper food for 30 days and see where I was.
It’s not a diet. I spoke before about how I don’t believe that women need to constantly make themselves smaller. It will hopefully, make me feel better and get my skin working better again.
Day 10 and 11 “You are most likely to quit your Whole30 on Days 10 and 11”.
Oh yes. That anger I was supposed to feel Day 3 and 4? It turned up this weekend and I was sick of it all. Sick of eggs, sick of not having a chocolate biscuit with my weekend tea, sick of people eating what they want. My husband bought me my favourite flowers because he’s good like that and I have a new non-egg breakfast recipe from my insta friend Adriana (@adriana.food.fit.fam) who is also doing Whole30 and so understands the struggle.
Now it feels better and I feel better, huge improvements in energy levels and psoriasis symptoms already and I am only just approaching the halfway mark.
So I am completing the first goal that I set myself for 2018. I still don’t have a word for this year, but as I continue to reflect on this past year and slowly move into 2018, the word will come. We are after all only in the third week of 2018.
Some people seem to have started the year all guns blazing, with all their goals planned out and they are already ticking them off at a wonderful rate! Good for them. I’m going to ease into it and not put pressure on myself, there are another eleven months of this year in which to make a difference.
So, I’m doing one thing at a time (maybe two). I have a couple of new goals and some continuing ones – I want to start volunteering again preferably in the sexual violence field; I want to continue to attend therapy; I want to find the next part of my course and I want to plan our big honeymoon and go on a proper adventure. I also want to keep going with my Spiritual Direction (kind of like Christian Counselling) and pick up regular Bible Study again with a new plan.
Whatever you 2018 goals I hope that they reflect you, taking care of yourself, putting yourself first on occasion and living out your life gratefully and joyfully, even in the not so good parts. Here’s to a happy, healthy and adventure filled 2018.