Light and Salt, Salt and Light

The last two weeks at church the sermons have focused on Matthew 5:13 – 16 where Jesus calls his followers to both be the salt of the earth and the light of the world.  Christians widely interpret this to mean that we are called to show our love of God to the rest of the world by our actions, that we will guide others by our love. I love the analogy of salt; it brings out the flavour in our meals and is used to preserve things, to keep them “good”.  It is our tears and our sweat.  If you get salt in a wound it will sting like crazy, but it will also cleanse.  No pain, no gain right?

If this is what we are called to be then we need to be the people that speak out against injustice, against hate and against inequality, against those who use their power to silence others.  We are called to do what Jesus did.  I recently watched the film Suffragette and was reminded of all the women who went before me, who sacrificed to make my position in this country a better one.  So what am I doing in today’s world, when it feels like everything is going to pot, to make others’ circumstances better?  How am I being the salt and the light?

I am speaking out, with as much love as possible, against Trump and Theresa May’s policies, I am emailing my Member of Parliament to ensure my voice is heard, I am signing the Petition to ask our Government to re consider its position on the Dubs Amendment, which gave sanctuary to unaccompanied child refugees from Syria.  I am not “deleting” friends on social media with different opinions because I don’t think echo chambers are healthy and I am trying to engage in discourse, to also listen and to challenge people to think with love.  I will not be silent.  I will try to be the salt and the light, however challenging that might be to me, a person who loathes confrontation.  Here’s the thing though, I don’t loathe it as much as I loathe injustice.

 

 

If you would like to know more about the Dubs Amendment and sign the petition you can do so here:

https://fullfact.org/immigration/ask-full-fact-dubs-and-dublin/

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/sep/05/disgrace-to-europe-former-child-refugee-lord-dubs-calais-camp

https://www.change.org/p/government-save-lone-child-refugees-in-europe?recruiter=71901527&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink

 

If you want to email your MP you can do so here:

www.writetothem.com

 

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Lean For Life

I have dithered about writing about my new lifestyle for a while.  Truth be told, I’ve been a bit scared.  I am a self-proclaimed proud feminist.  I don’t think that all women have to offer the world is their looks.  I despise advertising which constantly tells women to be smaller, less, be good, conform, look a certain way – long hair, perfect eyebrows, shiny nails, big boobs and bum but absolutely no belly.  Don’t you dare have an ounce of fat on your belly, or cellulite, or stretch marks or wobbly thighs.

If you’ve had a baby, never mind that it took you nine months to grow it and your body has done an amazing thing – produced another human being and now it is producing food for that human being (if you choose to breastfeed, obviously) – what you should be worried about is how fast you can lose that baby weight.

There are always fad diets advertised – look!  Lose 20lbs in two days by starving yourself and then put it all back on when you start eating real food.

This upsets me. Glennon sums it up perfectly:

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Here’s the thing.  Listen well – You are not undeserving of love if you carry a few extra pounds or you have stretch marks.  The way you look?  Not the most important thing about you.  Being kind, compassionate, brave, wise?  Those things are important.

I am 31 and I love food.  Love it.  I also enjoy exercise and try to be a healthy, why?  Because I feel better, happier, more me when I am healthy.  There’s no comparison.

I used to be able to eat whatever I want (read: a minimum of two chocolate bars a day) when I was a Support Worker (read: under 25).  I was walking all the time between clients, I would say on average 4 miles a day and generally ate healthily apart from the chocolate.  I was happy with my weight, I felt healthy, I was also running and going to the gym.  I didn’t worry too much about the chocolate.

Then I got my “career job” and I sat down at a desk for 7 hours every day and I put on over a stone in a very short space of time.  None of my clothes fit.  I quickly lost 7lbs but try as I might I haven’t been able to shift that extra 10lbs.

This year I said I was going to be committed to eating healthily and exercising.  I am 31 and I want to be healthy, happy and nourish my body.

I want to exercise and run and do yoga so I can find my stride and my breath.  So I feel powerful and strong, not bloated and fatigued.

I get married this year(!) and I want to look good in my wedding dress.  I won’t apologise for that.

I do not want to look super skinny and tired and drawn.

I do not want to feel bloated and be self-conscious in my dress.

I want to look back at photos and think “I looked and felt the best I could on that day, and that was pretty amazing.”

I want to feel beautiful and strong and empowered on my wedding day.  I want it to set the tone for my marriage.

How you look and how you feel are personal to you.  It is relative.  I know I was never overweight, not a day in my life, but I didn’t feel as good as I knew I could and I didn’t like it.

In August I picked up Louise Parker’s Lean for Life book.  I flicked through it in Waitrose and thought, “Yes.  Real food, no fads, no shortcuts.  I like the look of this”.

You have to read the book, familiarise yourself with the four pillars and plan out your transform phase.  This is a lifestyle change not a diet.  It takes dedication and you have to be prepared.  You need to work out how you are going to meal plan and you need to stick to it, not keep stepping out of the circle every time you want to.

I work full time in a demanding job with minimal breaks.  Unfortunately, I cannot religiously stick to all of Louise’s principles when I am at work – I have to take my lunch and snacks in Tupperware, which isn’t particularly beautiful and often I am forced to eat at my desk, in front of a screen which is less than ideal.

I still did it though.  I moved every day, often walking part of the way home from work to get my steps up, I liked that I didn’t have to do Louise’s workouts exclusively (although I did them 2-3 times per week) and that I didn’t have to give up my running and my yoga.

I ate more food than I have ever done!  I had to train myself to eat breakfast, which is something I never did previously, and to start with I could not manage the portions in the book and had to halve them.

I found snacks and lunches that would transport to work easily and I said goodbye to alcohol and chocolate.

Sometimes it was really hard but to be honest it became easy and a natural way of eating much more quickly than I thought it would.

I forced myself to eat nuts, something I never did before and now I love almonds and cashews and pecans!

The thing is that the strict “Transform” phase is only temporary.  Nothing is off limits once you are in the lifestyle, nothing is “bad” you just have to get there and then you eat within the circle 80% of the time.

I did the transform phase for 8 weeks and I lost 10.25 lbs and the inches as you see below.  I completed the transform at the end of October, since then I’ve been on a Girls’ Weekend to Berlin, had Christmas parties and Christmas and New Year and so I have been living the lifestyle, stepping in and out of the circle, maybe a bit more out of late, and I am maintaining my weight. I have been surprised by how easy it has been.

Total Loss:

Weight – 10.25 lbs

Arms – 1 inch

Thighs – 1.4 inch

Waist  – 3 inches

Lower Belly – 1 inch

Bum/hips – 2 inches

I haven’t put up my original weight or inches because as I say, everything is relative.  It’s about being the healthiest and happiest version of you and that looks different for everyone.

I don’t want to make someone feel bad, or indeed, make myself feel bad by inviting comparison.  I have never had any children.  I will repeat that.  I have never had any children.  Also, I am 31.

I have always been a healthy weight for my height, I have pretty good self-esteem about the way I look.  Good for me.  I know it isn’t always that way for others.

In this selfie obsessed, instagrammable culture we live in where everyone puts a “filter” on their life and women are held to very high beauty standards it is very hard not to invite comparison and to feel that we are less than if we do not match up to beauty ideals.

The Louise Parker Method has never made me feel less than. 

It has never made me feel bad about the way that I look or the journey that I am on.

The Louise Parker Method is all about you as the individual – the goals you set.  What you want to achieve and how you feel.  It does not set a “standard” for everyone.

It is about nourishing your body, eating good food, learning about yourself and food and making positive changes forever.  I sleep better, my psoriasis had practically disappeared at the end of the transform phase, I have more energy and more confidence.

I would recommend this lifestyle change to anyone because best of all – you don’t become frightened of food.

The recipes are easy and delicious and as long as you prepare for the working week you can totally stick to everything whilst working long hours and commuting.  I feel better than I have in a long time and I am thrilled with my results.  They were right for me and no one else!

If you are looking to make a healthy, permanent change this year then this is a nutritious and healthy way to do that.  The online community over at Instagram is particularly helpful with all the #leanies helping each other out and providing encouragement and support.

Once you have made this part of your lifestyle you won’t want to go back.

If you want to see the type of food I eat – follow me on Instagram where I often post pictures of what I am eating.

 

 

N.B. All opinions are my own and I are based on my own, personal experience.

 

A quick Q&A

My friend Madge said she’d like me to answer some basic questions about myself like “why do you go to church?”  Trouble is the answers to those sorts of questions are a bit complex!  I’ve done my best below, without writing an essay in response to each one.

Why is the blog called Nack and Nace.com?  What does it mean?

Nackley and Nacey were my imaginary friends as a child, more affectionately referred to by two year old me as “Nack and Nace”.  I was thinkng along the lines of imagination, thoughts and writing and thought it had a nice ring to it.

Why am I writing a Blog?

It’s a way to be creative, my job is not creative at all and I needed an outlet.  I enjoy writing, also I wanted to expand on my 100 days of gratefulness posts that I’d done on Facebook a while back and expand on the short little posts that I did there.  I found keeping an online “Gratefulness Diary” helpful, it’s very hygge which is something I intend on writing an entire post about!

What stops me from writing?

Time, or lack thereof!  Also, sometimes, wondering whether what I write will be interesting to others, so a bit of self doubt I guess.

Why am I a Christian?

Well, because I believe in God.  I try to avoid debates about whether there is God or not because I know there is in the same way that I feel and know love exists and I appreciate that others will say exactly yhe same thing for why they feel there isn’t a God.  Does this mean that I never doubt? No. does it mean that I have all the answers or find some things about Christianity easy to accept?  Hell no.  Does it mean that I can’t see things from the point of view of an atheist or that I don’t have atheist friends – nope.  All are welcome in my circle, so long as you are trying to be good, wholehearted person.

Why do I go to Church?

A lot of people, including Christians struggle with Church.  I get this, I do too – it can sometimes seem hard to find God there.  It can be rigid, judgmental, unaccepting and self righteous.  The thing is that Church is not God or Jesus, it is the meeting of imperfect people in a place (any place) where they come together to meet with God and Jesus.  Sometimes those imperfect people forget why they are there and they forget what the face of Jesus looks like (that’s love, by the way).  It can also be a bit magical though when you have a community of imperfect people trying to do wonderful and loving work and supporting eachother in their faith, they might not get it all 100% right but they can do a lot of good.

Why do I read the Bible?  Do I believe everything in it?

I read it because it is how I learn to know God and Jesus better, how I grow in understanding my faith.

I believe every word in it is inspired by God and God breathed but that doesn’t mean that I believe that it can be read at face value.  So much of the Bible needs to be read in context, with an understanding of the time in which it was written and the culture.  I am not a Theologian and I know there are many ways of interpreting texts.  I do my best and I try to remember what Jesus said and did and I take that as the basis for how I should behave and also how I should try and interpet stories, looking through a “Jesus Lens”, if you will.

Why do I call myself a Jesus Feminist?

I am a Feminist, I believe that women have the right to be treated as equal to men and that they aren’t a lot of the time.  I believe that Jesus thought so too.  In the Gospels there are countless examples of Jesus treating women with respect, allowing them to learn from him (unheard of before that time) and treating them as equal to men.  It is what I believe that God intended and what should be the natural order of things.

Why am I interested in Hygge, Mindfulness and Hapiness?

I think it is human nature to search for happiness and purpose in life. I struggle with time management, saying “no”, people pleasing and generally being “busy”.  I can find that I am suddenly existing rather than living, that I am stressed, tired and anxious.  It is so much better to live and to enjoy this wonderful, crazy life journey, noticing it and not having it just pass you by.  Using Hygge, Mindfulness and exploring my Faith help me to be more centered, more present and happier.

Christian Mindfulness is bascially just another term for being still and listening to God, Hygge is all about comfort and security, things that you also get from being mindful and from having a faith.

Essentially all of these things are about living in the present, being still and connected.  I am a big believer in human connection and making time for you; it is instrumental to our mental health and well being.

Do I have any vices?

Chocolate.  Specifically pralines.

Any other questions?  Shout.

 

Grateful for friends, and particularly strong female ones. #100DaysofGratefulnessday3

I have always been a girl’s girl, a woman’s woman.  I enjoy the company of my female friends and I have a lot of them.

I never really understood boys.  When I was very young I was too quiet, I am an extrovert on the Myers Briggs enneagram but this does not always mean what people understand an “extrovert” to be.  Certainly when I was younger I was very timid in the presence of boys or children I didn’t know, and I would get quite anxious in social situations involving peers.  In complete contrast I was always totally at home with adults or by myself.  I enjoyed solitary activities like reading and playing imaginary games, quite often on my own or with one or two friends; I didn’t like loud, boisterous group activities.  I have always been decidedly un-competitive so I never enjoyed team sports (I also wasn’t very good at them).

I got on quite well with some of the boys in my class but would never have had boys over for a playdate or been invited to boys’ houses.  This is in complete contrast to both of my sisters who both had more male friends than female friends when they were growing up and are both quite sporty and competitive.

Aged 11 I went to an all girls’ school.  I know a lot of people have a lot of feelings about single sex education, for me it was the right choice.  I would never have had the confidence to put my hand up and speak up and give answers in a classroom full of boys.  Being surrounded by a lot of women and not having any brothers it meant that I just wasn’t the best prepared for male friendships at University.  I developed a couple of real friendships with boys in my last year at university through my then boyfriend, but as that relationship ended four years later those friendships slowly died a death.

It doesn’t bother me now, I am perfectly happy to be surrounded by women.  I love my girlfriends and I am so lucky to have a lot of them.

I listened to the Sorta Awesome podcast recently when they were discussing the “ten friends every woman needs” (This podcast is good – listen!).  This was their conclusion:

  1. A friend who has made more mistakes than you;
  2. A friend who knows what’s in your freezer;
  3. A friend with whom no words are necessary;
  4. A friend with better style than you;
  5. A “Yes Man” meaning someone who supports you wholeheartedly and who adores you;
  6. A friend who majored in your history;
  7. A friend who speaks your language (they are into the same things);
  8. A friend who challenges you;
  9. A friend who knows all your passwords;
  10. A friend who is the Queen of the call you out.

What I realised from listening to this is that I might be one or two or none of these at the same time for different friends, and that’s okay.  I also realised that I have friends who fall into each and every category.

I have had discussions recently with various friends about how as you reach thirty you know who your real friends are.  You might have (like I do) an “inner” and an “outer” circle this is a fluid arrangement, some friends you can be particularly close to for a season in your life, then you might drift apart slightly for a while as life takes over and later you’ll drift back into each other’s inner circle again.  Some friends are always in one or the other, and that’s okay too, it doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate and love and need those friends in your outer circle.

Here are my friends every woman needs (there might be a bit of overlap with the above list):

  1. A friend whose advice and help you will accept because you trust their good judgment.

I have a particular friend who does this.  I always respect her opinions and I feel better about scary things if I check them through with her.  She is a more grown up version of me, slightly more together financially and slightly ahead of the game in every aspect, always has been.  We lived together when we both had our first proper jobs after university and when I got my handbag stolen she could lend me money from her savings (!) to pay for the lock change, as obviously, I was maxing out my overdraft every month.  Recently, as I was stressing about shopping for my wedding dress (I hate shopping and pretentious places in equal measure) I texted her for info on where she went, because I knew it would be good.  She responded with the info, but more than that, followed up with (because she knows I hate shopping and pretentious places in equal measure) “They served us warm white wine in plastic glasses and the woman who did my alterations had no teeth and a fantastic smoker’s cough”.  I booked my appointment immediately.

  1. A Questioner.

I am interested in people; I ask them a lot of questions, I prefer “interested” to “nosey”. I always thought I would never meet anyone who asked as close to the wire questions as me, and then I met Madge.  I love it.  She is interested in everything and she makes me think about my decisions and my actions.  She makes me examine myself and that is no bad thing.  It’s a great sounding board because she’ll often make you think about something slightly differently.  P.S. Read her blog, she’s incredibly funny and regularly has me snorting into my Tupperware at lunch (work, I only get 15 mins so I eat in front of a screen out of plastic, it’s depressing).

  1. A friend who tells it straight.

I appreciate this quality, the most likely candidates here – my sisters.  They will be (brutally) honest.  It’s refreshing and important.  It’s needed, you know where you stand.  Plus, they can also show you a different way of thinking.

  1. A friend who is able to have what my school girls and I affectionately refer to as “D&Ms” or “Deep and Meaningfuls”.

We used to have a lot of these when we were at school, navigating the perils of the Union Bar, Apple Sours and exactly what black top to wear with our jeans and velvet jackets on a Friday night.  Undoubtedly, some of these conversations were fuelled by alcohol, as they often have been in later life with other friends, but these are conversations which enrich you and make you grow emotionally.  You are vulnerable, you share, you talk, you laugh, you are close.  I have had these with all of my friends at some points and still do.  I have talked about a couple of my friends who helped me through a particularly hard time before.

  1. A friend who is at the same stage as you.

As I mentioned in another blog post it’s important to have friends who empathise with a situation, not just sympathise.  So for example, I love it when my new mummy friends have other new mummy friends that they can talk about baby and kid stuff with.  It’s not that I am not interested in this, or that they can’t talk to me about it – I want them to share (I am learning for the future!) but I recognise that I have no point of reference, so I might not be particularly helpful on every occasion.  Equally, when those friends are busy with things like that you need other friends who can meet you on a whim after work and discuss your broken heart at length.   If you are the only single person in your group, you need other single friends.  Everything in its season.

  1. This is totally overlapping above but – a person whom shares your passions.

I have a few friends I talk to about faith.  One of them I used to work with, we are very similar in a lot of ways.  She’s catholic and I am C of E but we do enjoy a God discussion.  Also, I have friends who are fellow avid blog readers, friends who I can talk books with, friends who you can discuss TV shows with, or sports you like, or anything really.  Friends who like the same stuff as you are important – you need someone to geek out with.  I am very proud of the fact that I have introduced a lot of my friends to Grey’s Anatomy (and anything by Shonda). This means that we can catch up and be suitably outraged/overjoyed at the latest plot twists.

  1. A friend who makes you feel young and mischievous.

This will always fall to one of my oldest friends Chick.  She can make me laugh like no other, and definitely brings out my usually hidden goofball.  I am more relaxed and make a lot more jokes when I am around her.  She makes me less serious and I love her for it.

 

Of course I go to all of my friends for fun, for advice, for emotional support.  They are a group of strong, worldly, educated women.  They work hard, raise families and do interesting things.

These women inspire me, they push me, and they love me.  For that I am extremely grateful, and I love them fiercely.  I hope they know it!

 

 

Grateful for Dad #100daysofgratefulnessday27

 

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“#grateful for a brilliant Dad who is also a feminist and raised his three daughters to also be feminists.  We were always told we could do anything we wanted and were raised to hear every sort of sexist put down so when we heard it from someone who meant it we would know how to “treat it with the disdain it deserves”.  My Dad holds my Mum in the highest esteem and they raised us to be independent, thinking and fierce women and for that I am truly grateful”.

My Dad is a bit of a legend.  Everyone knows Big Tel.  My Dad is from a little known place called Whitechapel in the East End of London.  Whitechapel is famous for Jack the Ripper, The Krays and a wonderfully close knit community of Cockneys who are a “salt of the earth” kind of people.  His upbringing was “old school” and tough.  His family were not wealthy, by any stretch of the imagination, but they made do.  He was the first to go to university and to have a profession.  He is widely travelled and he believes in the good in people.

Tel is a big character, an extrovert, he’s tall and has a voice that carries when he wants it to.  He can seem scary, especially to boyfriends, and he was incredibly strict with us when we were younger.  He is also incredibly generous with his time and he has a heart as big as his personality.

My Dad is a champion of people who are a little bit lost, a little bit down, who lack self-belief.  He is a giver of confidence and I love him for it.  My Dad doesn’t believe in a “God” in the traditional sense of the word and wouldn’t describe himself as a Christian, but he does a better impression of being a Christian than a lot of self-proclaimed Christians I have come across.

My Dad is a talker; you can’t keep secrets from him about how you feel.  A lot of girls can’t talk to their Dad once they get to a certain age.  My Dad may have struggled to relate to us at points but he never let that show.  He has always been present in our lives, he has always taken an interest in us, in our friends and in what we were up to.

My Dad taught us about social justice, that it’s not “how people say it, it’s what they say and do that counts”.  He taught us to be compassionate and caring, to have empathy and kindness for those who are vulnerable and to understand how a disadvantaged background can impact upon a child and then an adult.  He often says that things that seem small insignificant things to you are big kindnesses to others, and you often don’t know the impact that you have.  I always try to bear this in mind and I think it’s better to give people the benefit of the doubt and I try to always be gentle with others, everyone after all is generally doing the best they can.

Despite this, my Dad was keen that we should not to suffer fools and not to be taken for granted.  My Dad taught me to stand on my own two feet and to demand better from those I form relationships with including friends, lovers and employers.

Father’s Day is hard for a lot of people.  A lot of people have complicated relationships with their Dad, or they don’t have one at all; sometimes through choice.  I appreciate that some people find today particularly hard, a painful reminder of what they are missing.

I also appreciate that I am very lucky.  My Dad loves us girls fiercely and is our greatest champion.  He raised three girls so it’s a jolly good job that he is a feminist: he believes that women are equal to men and deserve to be treated as such; he raised us to believe that too.  The older I’ve gotten the rarer I’ve realised that is.  A lot of women are not so lucky to have such a champion in their Dad.

I have also come to realise just how important the role of a father is.  That’s not to say that if someone doesn’t have one they will be messed up or incredibly disadvantaged, I know a few single Mums who manage both roles admirably.  However, if you’ve got a good one, you’ll know about it forever.

If I ever need my Dad he will be there; if I ever need someone to stand my corner for me he’ll be there; if I ever need to discuss that state of the world and put it to rights, he’s my go to.  My Dad is a constant.  A constant support, a constant source of love, a constant source of open honest opinion and encouragement, as is my Mum I might add, but she already had her own post here.

I love him dearly.  He gets me in a way few other people do outside of my own immediate family.  He makes me laugh heartily and I have my Dad to thank for my sense of self-worth, my confidence and my love of Rod Stewart.  None of those are small things.

Happy Father’s Day Big Tel!  Love you.

 

#100daysofgratefulnessday13

142#grateful or my lovely Mum, all that she has done and all she continues to do. My inspiration in so many things. #100daysofgratefulnessday13

Okay, so we are skipping ahead a bit here in the 100daysofgratefulness posts, but I think as it’s Mother’s Day, it’s apt.

I really don’t know why my Mum went off to have two more children after me, she and my Dad must be absolute gluttons for punishment. By all accounts I was a nightmare baby. I had severe colic/reflux which meant I was angry and cried all of the time. My Mum tells me that I was also bored, if she didn’t talk to me I would cry, if anyone else held me other than her or my Dad: I would cry. I never slept. I didn’t sleep through the night until I was five *shudder*. My Dad used to have to take me out in my pram around the streets of Lewisham to try and get me to stop crying and go to sleep, and also, presumably, to keep my Mum from going insane after being with me all day whilst I screamed.

Obviously, this was a phase, which I thankfully grew out of. However, I was never an easy child; I had two imaginary friends Nackley and Nacey, or y’know the more affectionate monikers Nack and Nace. I also had ear infection after ear infection, I was sick (through anxiety) at almost every birthday party I went to, I slept walked and talked frequently, and once, infamously, unwrapped all of the Christmas presents upstairs that my Mum had wrapped because she was due to have a baby any minute. Honestly, I don’t know how she managed to be so patient with me and my incessant questions and also on every frequent night when I was sick all over my bed.

My Mum has worked full time, in a career, for pretty much my entire life, with three kids, she made our packed lunches every day and always listened to us read. My Mum was strict (as was my Dad, but he’ll get his own post later on), this meant that there were always clear expectations of our behaviour and we always felt very secure with those. My parents took an interest in school work and our school friends and ferried us around to a host of extra-curricular activities that were intended to broaden our education. Whilst at school I went to Brownies and then Guides (although the latter was short lived), played recorder, violin and keyboard (very badly), and was a part of a drama club.

We weren’t allowed to watch much TV. This causes a lot of hilarity now when friends are talking about TV shows and I usually have to say “oh we weren’t allowed to watch that”; examples include “Grange Hill”, “Casualty” and any Soap Opera. My Mum actually admitted to me when I was talking to her about it recently “I know it sounds snobby now, but we only let you watch BBC!” Amazing. Of course I revealed this to some friends who now often (good naturedly) ask me if I am going to watch a programme and then follow it up with something along the lines of “it is on that terribly common ITV though, so you might not be allowed”. They are all comedians the lot of them.

I am so grateful to both my parents for working so incredibly hard so that they could provide a nice life for us, but I am especially grateful of the example.  My Mum set the bar high for what my sisters and I could achieve: that we didn’t just have to settle and be frustrated. That we could have a family and work in a meaningful career that was enjoyable. It was expected of us, and therefore none of us have doubted that it is possible.

I am also especially grateful to my Mum for passing on her love of reading and her faith. She took us to Church, although we were never forced to go, and she answered all of my many questions about Jesus and God, she still does in fact, even if sometimes those answers are “I don’t know. Maybe that’s where our faith has to come in”. To me she is a wonderful example of a Christian. She always tries to see the best in people and make the best out of a situation, she works hard and serves others in the best way she can, often by showing kindness and compassion of which she seems to have a never ending supply.

I am incredibly lucky, I had a pretty idyllic childhood, I had two parents who loved me and my sisters and we never doubted that, not for one second. That is a rare and wonderful thing. I know not everyone is as fortunate.

As all of my friends now start to become Mothers for the first time and I see their struggles and their joys it makes me even more grateful for my Mum. If I have children one day I know that I will be able to rely on both of my parents, I know that they won’t interfere and they won’t go against my “rules” even if they think they’re wrong.

Mum and I were talking the other day and she said that her Mum, my Grandma, was the best example of a Grandma: she was brilliant with us but she didn’t smother us, she did everything according to what my parents said, you couldn’t play Grandma off against Mum or Dad and she was firm. We loved her for it. I know my Mum will be exactly the same, and if I can be half the Mum my Mum has been to me to any children I may have in the future I’ll be doing alright.

Happy Mother’s Day Mum. You rock.